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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22447321">A Starving Lion</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoinCreep/pseuds/CoinCreep'>CoinCreep</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>My Babysitter's A Vampire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, benny is a sad boy and im here for it</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 13:55:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>502</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22447321</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoinCreep/pseuds/CoinCreep</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>If all i'll ever get to be is your friend, that's okay. I Understand. Even that is more than I could have ever hoped for.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ethan Morgan/Benny Weir, Sarah Fox/Ethan Morgan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Starving Lion</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>If all I’ll ever get to be is your friend, that’s okay. I understand. Even that is more than I could ever have hoped for. </i>
</p><p>Benny knew he was in love with Ethan Morgan in the fourth grade, and loved him a little more each day since. He loved the way they sat together on Ethan’s too small bed playing games and watching movies into the early hours of the morning. He loved it when they spoke quietly, in hushed tones at three am when their bodies were tired but their minds were racing. Benny loved Ethan in the summer when he’d kick his blankets off in the middle of the night, and in the winter when it was too cold to sleep apart. With legs tangled and an arm slung over his waist, Benny loved him with everything he had.</p><p>He loved him gently, silently from afar.</p><p>Sarah was like watching a nature documentary, when the hunter is chasing down its prey. The lioness moves forward in the tall grass, slowly, silently after the gazelle. The music picks up, the camera zooms in, and the gazelle is none the wiser to the danger that looms around them. She’s off, and the gazelle takes off in return. Eyes glued to the screen, you can only watch as the chase unfolded before you. Part of you wants the gazelle to get away, to run faster, run farther than the lion ever could. The other part knows that the lion only wants to eat, to feed her cubs, to survive. How come we all feel sad for the prey when it gets eaten, but not for the lion that would die without it? </p><p>Benny feels like a gazelle, sometimes. When Ethan laughs a little too hard at Sarah’s jokes, or when they sit on the couch together. Ethan getting closer to her throughout the movie, their hands brushing together in the popcorn bowl. It’s okay to be sad for the death of one and happy for the survival of another at the same time, isn’t it?</p><p>Sometimes Ethan would be too much. Too painful to look at. A reminder that his feelings had nowhere to go but to rot inside him. He could feel them swirl, bunch up in his stomach, claw their way up his throat. Benny calls in sick a lot these days. </p><p>Ethan brought him his homework, completed and signed with his best impersonation of his handwriting. He barely held back his tears that day, just managing to wait until he’d left the room before the first one fell.</p><p>Benny loved Ethan Morgan since the fourth grade, and loved him more every day since. Even when loving him felt like a punch to the gut, or a mad dash from a starving lion. He loved him like he would lose him, loved him quietly, and alone.</p><p> <i>If all I’ll ever get is to be your friend, that’s okay. I understand. Even that is more than I could ever have hoped for.</i></p>
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